Hilarious Texts from My Ex

Breakups can be tough, but sometimes, the humor that comes from our past relationships can be unforgettable. My ex had a knack for sending the most ridiculous texts that still make me laugh today. Whether it was an awkward attempt to rekindle things or a misguided message meant for someone else, these texts are pure gold. Here’s a compilation of some of the most hilarious texts I received from my ex. I mean, who knew heartbreak could come packaged with such comedy?

• "I miss you like a fat kid misses cake!"

  This was like a twist of fate—one moment I was sad, and the next, I was rolling on the floor laughing. Nothing says 'I want you back' quite like this oddly specific food reference.

• "I just realized I still have your hoodie… it smells like pizza and regret."

  Ah, the sweet scent of nostalgia mingled with a hint of pepperoni! It’s true, some things are hard to let go of.

• "Are you dating anyone? I need to know if I need to publish my memoir!"

  Well, that is a unique reason to check in! I hope the memoir talks about the time they tried to cook spaghetti and burned water.

• "If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d have enough to buy you a gift!"

  Gotta love a poor attempt at flattery! Might as well throw in some emoji money bags for added effect.

• "Just saw your favorite pizza place—should I go in and order a pizza or just take a moment of silence?"

  Now that's a serious question. Always smart to mourn the loss of a meal with dignity!

• "I think I left my heart in your apartment… also some socks and half a sandwich."

  Ah yes, a classic mix of romance and utter absurdity! Nothing says love like leftover snacks!

• "Are you a magician? Because whenever I think of you, everyone else disappears... except my cat!"

  Now that's a trick I’d like to see! It’s great that they’re always thinking of their furry friend.

• "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

  This made me chuckle because it screamed desperation, yet had a certain charm to it. A classic indeed!

• "If our love was a song, I’d totally be the catchy chorus stuck in your head."

  Well, that definitely explains why I’ve been humming tunelessly for weeks!

• "I can't believe you made me watch that weird documentary! My life will never be the same!"

  It's true what they say—once you see a manatee mating, there’s no going back!

These texts may have stemmed from a place of confusion or regret, but they sure reminded me that humor always finds a way to heal. Whether it’s realizing that you can laugh about the past or simply reflecting on the bizarre moments shared, it’s clear that sometimes, love truly is a comedy show.

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